it was typical week for the struggling college student. exams and projects weighing my shoulders down. people always being lame and sucking more and more of the joy out of you. except the few good souls that you are calling up to help you feel some relief from the constant battle. College is a time of changing. I spent my friday doing what I needed for me. I took a nap, make some mac and cheese, and watched two episodes of how i met your mother. I tried to study for a bit, and I accomplished only a margin of it before going to sleep at 9:30. It felt so good to sleep.
See college isnt all about the party. I like my friends, i love my friends. i LOVE beer. notice the LOVE. i totally am down to finish a bottle of wine if you ask me too. But its more than just the good times that make college a change.
Every day I wake up single and happy. I think about where my future husband is. I hope he would be proud of the decisions I make. I hope he likes that I am a home body and would rather stay in and reserved. I enjoy the morning time the best. Its my favorite part of the day. When everything is fresh and new. A chance to restart.
I look forward to morning yoga and sipping on my cup of coffee. I like reading the headlines while eating my hot oatmeal with pb and a banana that was ready for retirement. I like the simply sounds of stillness in the morning. When the energy of my home is at total peace. I like a healthy life.
See drinking and party life is not a peaceful one. It brings in energies that are high and mix so that the atmosphere is super charged. This is great occasionally. But, if you stay that charged at all times or do not allow a still,quiet, low energy to be a part of your life, your done for.
I went a party this week, and left around 11:30 to come home. I had lots of fun, making a few new friends but I was ready to come home. Home for me is where I find my strong energy because I collect my inner energy and that gives me strength to walk and life each day. Some people need external energy, like the high energy of a party to get this "alive" feeling.
Introverts are not weird. We just want to collect ourselves. Our stability comes from peaceful energy collected within our own self. We find energy in peaceful places. I enjoy the stillness. Whether its at home or in the woods, stillness. A wise man walks with stillness and controlled tongue. Only a fool slanders his neighbor and appears beyond drunk to the public eye.
I took a quiz the other day and it told me my leadership energy color is Cool Blue. It says I am intellectual creature and I strive for appreciating all the details. Other personalities of energy differ in many ways. But the Cool Blue is unique because they step back to look inside before vocalizing a plan. They use internal power to make decisions. Not with the brain, like the Fiery Red that wants control but rather the heart. The energy is planned out and used slowly and steady to complete the task correctly and with most care.
Husband, I hope you one day know the joy I find within my own self. I hope you one day are able to collect similar joy. I hope you understand my love for stillness. This is why I camp. This is why I love the mountains. This is why I love the waterfalls. I need stillness to find energy. Energy that will change the entire world if my voice becomes loud enough against the forces of high energy. A raging party screams over a waterfall. I guess you call it physics. But a still waterfall will run more smooth and strong than that raging party will ever be.